I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
