We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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