its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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