btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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