Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
