i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I believe in your delicious
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
