just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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