so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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