I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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