no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
