how can u be prego again
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
