There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
