We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
