Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
