I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
