Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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