Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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