I CAN MOONWALK!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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