was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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