i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
