we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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