Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
