guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When are your genitals available?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
