Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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