The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
do nipples grow back?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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