that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
