Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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