she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Jerry, you need to find god
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
