I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
