He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize