bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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