I cockslap morals
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
