New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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