i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
