drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
