if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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