Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize