nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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