Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can I color on your dick again?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
