I CAN MOONWALK!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
