You're so nebulous sometimes
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
