Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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