i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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