I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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