You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
