The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
