Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize