I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
