If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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