So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
