just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
