You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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