So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize