you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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