I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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