Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
