Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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