You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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