sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
